He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
this will be a night to untag.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
