I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Randomize
