before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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