what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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