Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
