boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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