Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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