I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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