So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
