The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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