Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You were trust falling into bushes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we should paint friendship bongs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
