Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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