I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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