Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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