Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
