Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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