question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
