I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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