About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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