Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
