She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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