she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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