actually, I'm a sock model
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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