This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
