Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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