What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
