I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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