No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
