I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
