Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
