Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
