I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
