Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
