Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
