im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
