Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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