I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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