oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
