i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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