Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
