I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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