did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
sarcasm needs its own font
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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