cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
