I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
