We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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