just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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