Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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