Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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