Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize