i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
